M&M ALERT

A day after Director of Homeland Security Tom Ridge, in near hysterics, warned of "possible" attacks against the U.S. that would "rival those of Sept. 11," he tells Americans to "just go about your business."

Bush's poll numbers are up, following the capture of Saddam Hussein, and now it's time to step up the fearmongering to keep those numbers afloat. Ridge does this by picking an M&M out of a hat to select a new terror alert level.

Today's color is orange.

"I think it's very, very important to send a message to the terrorists of goodwill and resolve," said Ridge.

Of course I know what he means, but it sounds like Ridge has an ax to grind with "terrorists of goodwill and resolve."

Are those like militant xmas elves?