This was a beautiful reflection on the debacle earlier this week from Viva, my friend, ex-bandmate, former high school classmate and inspiration.

hello friends and neighbors

number one: what the FUCK.

i feel compelled to reach out and share some words because today reminds me somehow of the time following 911. like a hovering anxiety, sadness, and a huge helplessness.

i see the conservative screws tightening, and it makes me afraid. for women and reproductive rights, for LGBT's in those red states, for PWA'S, for minorities, for the poor, for the continuing deterioration of our basic constitutional rights.

i am writing to say i am glad for community, glad for like minds and hearts, and as grateful for un-like minds who can agree to be so, peacefully.

so much about this today frightened and has shaken me, and made me angry. it s easy to see THEM as the enemy, then of course i have throughout the day 2 conversations with 2 latino men who so reminded me of my family , talking to me about how they voted for bush. they believe they are protecting their families by voting this way, they truly believe in the FORCE that this president is compelled to use, an eye for eye ( but its not even the right eye dammit!)
its frustrating because i felt so close to them too, like we shared so much culturally here in NYC together. its frustrating but somehow perfect to listen to them, it's hard to hate an individual person, easier to lump them all into one group, so it was weird and good for me to have had these encounters today. we are all the same, we want to be safe and cared for and they believe he will protect them.
oh my god it hurt me how huge a turnout he got from the latinos, but it makes sense to me they went his way.

but c'mon catholic latinos! jesus? was there ever a more peaceful figure, he taught unconditional love and that god is within as much as without. that guy wasnt throwing stones, he was hanging out with hookers.

what god is the president taking orders from?

i pray that bush is relieved of the voices he's hearing that guide him to war, so that he can hear the true voice of that god he claims to fully believe in, that voice that says love compassion and forgiveness.

i pray that he truly experiences the change of heart he says god granted him, the one that saved him from drug addiction, did it say now that you're sober you can feel free to kill thousands of innocent men women and children? oh my god have a drink AND a bump, please. (no, just kidding! it would make everything worse, he'd be pushing the big red button like martin sheen in the dead zone QUICK)

i pray the same for everyone that plan and decide and preach war, that they see that the truth of god is the opposite of war. this hate is taught, this hate is taught. any holy book can be used to justify any atrocity, and in my heart i know all war on every level comes about from the lovelessness children have endured. it's taught.

what can we DO?

one of my most favorite people, on halloween , on a completely unrelated topic said to me " in times of great darkness there is great light". i'm holding on to that one-

it was incredible how many people i know, personally, who were motivated to service these last couple of years. the last few weeks were astounding this way. the 911 vigils, the RNC demos, to see with my eyes , to be a part of these events and see the care and action, is heartening. it counts. we are not alone.

so the the tide has turned but you know the ocean she keeps moving and it will turn again. it's the law of nature. how is this gonna happen?

i dont know .

what can i do?

i encourage you, and i encourage me, to live our bliss, find the thing that makes you happy, whatever the hell it is. do it. do it without any doubt , now is the time, now is always the only time. everything you do in joy helps everyone and makes a difference, i believe this to be so.

some of my greatest frustration and anger was that 911 was used really effectively for bush by the only person who could appropriate it ,new york mayor guiliani. he used it to again goad people into fear and revenge.

in contrast i remembered the actual day of 911, out of the window we could see they were burning, huge black smoke pouring, we were watching the one tv channel that was still working. a firefighter crying, bawling like a baby, he had just come out of one the buildings b4 it fell, and he saw the cameras facing him, he took the opportunity to say this straight into the camera , sobbing:
"love each other just love each other"

i leave you with a prayer written by the official 911 victim #1, who was openly gay, a recovering addict , a catholic priest, and my friend.

i cant imagine he would say the answer to destruction is more destruction.

"Lord, Take me where you want me to go
Let me meet who you want me to meet,
Tell me what you want me to say,
Keep me out of your way.
Written by Father Mychal Judge
FDNY Chaplain

in love and light



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